no encouragement needed

today is the first really nice day of spring. I thought yesterday was nice, and today it is really nice. I woke up and had a hearty breakfast and then went on a half-hour bike ride. My mom and I are going to play tennis soon. Later Kathy and I are going to do yoga and walk around outside and have a fabulous dinner. This makes me so happy.

I remember when I used to hate moving in general, but now it brings me so much happiness. I also remember never having the energy to be active (and usually forcing myself to be active anyway). Now I can just go for a bike ride because I can and I want to. No prompting by anything except my desire. it's so nice.

yesterday the fam came over and we had brunch and took a walk through the nature center. I don't know why I haven't been back there since I've been home (perhaps the weather, but I honestly forgot it was here). Afterwards I went over to Rob's and got to meet his cats and sit in front of his fire pit...

lately i've been doing things like this and it's been such a nice reprieve from boredom and disconnectedness. It's not to say that I'm happy all of the time. I'm not. But I'm getting used to the idea that I can be happy and I can be sad at the same time. It's not "i'm in a good mood or i'm in a bad mood" it can (and is) both. which i think is normal. and if it's not, please don't tell me. thanks.